Countdown to the Big 50

For those about to plunge head first into a mid-life crisis and consider a total career change, just do it! Don't wait for a dice with near death to put your life in order.

We all have just a few precious years on this earth. Acknowledge that, respect it, and grab life by the neck and squeeze every last drop of vigour, pleasure and fulfilment out of it.

Before the Big C took centre stage I'd decided to keep a countdown to the Big 50. I recently revisited this:
"Waking up today on the 5th of the month, the realisation dawns that it is just 5 months to the day until I reach the 'big 50'. In just over 22 weeks or 155 days I will have inhabited this earth for half a century!

How did this happen? I look in the mirror and yes my face is a little more lived in, although I have to say thanks to frequent trips to the gym, inordinate lengths of the pool and sometimes quite unbelievable feats of flexibility at the local Pilates class, this five decade old body is not looking in too bad a shape. But, inside I still feel like an impetuous youth, eager with anticipation at what lies ahead.

But what does lie ahead? If we believe that we occupy the planet for three score years and 10, that means I'm 70% of the way there, with only 20 more years to make my mark!

You just think you have all the time in the world - I'll do that tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. But life takes over, other people's needs take precedence. Too busy being a mum, a wife, an employee, a relative, a friend - but what about ME. Somehow I forgot about ME along the way.

So, today was something of a eureka moment, an epiphany, a moment in time to make a stand and say 'Enough now, now it's my time!'"

Little did I know when I wrote these words just how prophetic they would turn out to be. Little did I know what was waiting round the corner.

Kicking kidney cancer - where it all began

This blog may be over a year late but I'm finally starting it now, inspired by the incredible courage of other cancer sufferers who selflessly share their stories to help others.

Approaching a big birthday, it's never easy to enter a new decade, leaving an ever diminishing younger you behind. But I was trying to be positive, focusing on all the new experiences, new memories and new challenges this new phase of life would bring. I even began to embrace the impending event, imagining the big party, big presents and big celebrations reaching the Big 50 would bring.

But I couldn't have envisaged the biggest surprise of all, finding out that I had the Big C. So, at the age of 49,  just 19 days before my 50th birthday, I was diagnosed with kidney cancer.

Now you'd think that discovering you've got a potentially life threatening illness might have put a bit of a downer on the birthday celebrations. On the contrary, it turned out to be the kick up the ass or should I say punch in the kidney that I needed to finally recognise where the next chapter of my life should take me.